Everything Trouble Meant

by Katie MF

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credits

released May 10, 2019

Produced by Nick Harris of Spare Room Recording
Mastered by Tim Debney of Fluid Mastering
Recorded at Cowshed Studios, London

All songs written by Katie MF

Guitars & vocals by Katie MF
Bass by Ben Payne
Drums by Tobias Alexander
Synth by Nick Harris
Cello by Maya McCourt

Cover art photo and drawing by Gerry Alexis

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Katie MF London, UK

Contagious punch-the-air folk-punk, FFO Frank Turner, Grace Petrie, Dave Hause, Against Me!.

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Track Name: Do Without
This kind of midnight anxiety
Is all kinds of new to me
I didn't have much to lose before
I could drift off ignorant, unhappy

And though I'm good and settled now
This insomnia I could do without
'Cause lying awake and listening to you breathe
Is an exquisite kind of purgatory
'Cause I know, I know, I know
That you're dreaming of me

So here's one more Monday morning
Head full of ideas I can't touch
I've gotta switch on, gotta concentrate
It's why they're paying me this much

And though I'm good and settled now
This 9 - 5 I could do without
'Cause I'm lying to them through my teeth
About issues and dependencies
And I never once say my issue is that I can't sleep
Or I'm depending on one day taking on my dreams
'Cause I know, I know, I know
That it wouldn't change a thing

Oh when I first moved to London
I thought the streets would learn my name
But seven years have gone now
And they've been forgetting it more each day

And though I'm good and settled now
These new regrets I could do without
'Cause I'm lying looking up and I still can't see
The stars or any sign of immortality
And I've always wanted the same damn thing
I was 5 years old when I said hey dad, I wanna sing
But I spent my twenties sat behind a desk
'Cause I thought that was sensible
I thought that was for the best
And maybe I'm past it now
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
But I'm going to find out
Track Name: Leather Jacket
It's been a crazy kind of week for me
Ever since you brought back my things
Thank you for driving all the way out here
It really helped to not have to see where you live
Where we lived

I think you got all the stuff that I missed
My perfume and my books and some old shopping list
Stuffed inside a few plastic bags
Eighteen months of good life reduced to that

But you still have my leather jacket
And it's the only nice thing I own
Maybe you could bring it back
And I'll try not to be home

Well I sold my car so I'm on a homeward train
Staring at photos of someone else's face
And my best friend keeps asking me
He won't shut up about
All the people I could
I could meet now

There will be someone and she won't be like you
In many ways, she'll be better
And I'll make sure that you would think so too
If you ever
If you ever met her
Track Name: Praying For Rain
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Praying For Rain
by Katie MF

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The first single from Everything Trouble Meant, written in the heartbreaking heatwave of 2018.
lyrics
I find myself praying for rain
And I never pray for anything
But this city could get washed away
And I think I'd be OK with it
'cause I'm coming to terms with some uncomfortable truths
About what really happened between me and you
And I want you to take all the blame for it
'cause I don't want to have to change anything

I just need a break
From this relentless summer haze
There's no air, there's no space
Just this endless fucking ache
I always thought that I would be OK
If I could just keep everyone a distance away
But it turns out I need to be loved
To love in turn and to really give it up
Yea, hold my heart out and show willing
To feel everything that I thought would kill me
In seven years' time I will prove you right
Look the old me right in the eye
And say

Remember how you prayed for rain
When what you really wanted was anything
That was worthy of some faith
To leave you humbled and trembling
I'm not sure I'll get that from anyone else
I've always been so proud to rely on myself
So won't you show me now
That to love is to be let down
Then to be raised higher, higher in hope
Than you could ever possibly achieve on your own
Yea won't you show me now
Won't you show me how
Won't you show me now
Won't you show me how
Track Name: Somewhere On A Backstreet
When it was over, I took all the things that we loved
And hid them away in a box marked Do Not Touch
Left them there, forever to gather dust
Then you called
And I went through it all

And I hadn't been able to listen to The National for months
Because of everything that Trouble meant to me once
But now the tears come and I'm breaking down
Somwhere on a backstreet in Kentish Town
And it's raining, well of course it is
I look up
And think, come on man
This is punishment enough

Oh darling I know I said hearts always get better
That these things land right side up if you'd only let them
But now I'm not so sure
Lost my confidence in it all
Will we ever get there?
I miss you, and I'm alone, and I'm scared

Can we pick up our pens and get to writing again
Because that last chapter, it came to an untimely end
With two dimensional protagonists
Darling you know we're better than this
So let's prove it now, let's show
That we're not going to falter
With redemption so close

So is this it, are you coming home?
Is it me that you want?
You're no good on your own
I know that you know that
And they know it too
Have faith in the people who look out for you
But if you agree
If it's me
And not just some person you wish I could be
Well come and get me then
I'm waiting

Darling I know I said hearts always get better
Well mine is starting to heal
And I'm inclined to let it
but I need you to be sure
More confident than before
Then I think we'll get there
But for now -
I miss you, and I'm alone, and I'm scared
Track Name: Honestly, I'm Fine
It feels a little different this time
Like you've actually gone
You missed my birthday
And you've stopped listening to my songs
All my friends say this is a good thing
It's high time I moved on
But I can't shake the feeling
That you'll always have been the one

Thank you for bringing my jacket back
I really do appreciate that
It was the last time I saw you at Waterloo
I refused to look back
But I heard you stayed for a little while
With tears drying on your face
Though I'm not sure it helped to know
You just watched me walk away
But anyway

Just tell me
Are you eating babe?
Are you sleeping OK?
I hope whoever's with you now
Is keeping you safe
Not just looking good and laughing at your jokes
You know if you ever want to
You could come home
Yea you could come home

I played a show last night
Just down the road from where you live
So I wandered around patiently waiting
For fate to do its thing
But I didn't see you outside the tube
And I didn't see you on the street
And I did not see you at the back of the room
Trying to sneak in
But I did see your company's name
On the train on the way in
It was splashed all over the protective wrap
Round a brand new office building
And I felt a little surge of pride
That you, you were once mine
Then I had to convince the lady opposite me
That even though I was crying
Thank you
But honestly, I'm fine

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