Everything Trouble Meant

by Katie MF

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1.
Do Without 04:36
This kind of midnight anxiety Is all kinds of new to me I didn't have much to lose before I could drift off ignorant, unhappy And though I'm good and settled now This insomnia I could do without 'Cause lying awake and listening to you breathe Is an exquisite kind of purgatory 'Cause I know, I know, I know That you're dreaming of me So here's one more Monday morning Head full of ideas I can't touch I've gotta switch on, gotta concentrate It's why they're paying me this much And though I'm good and settled now This 9 - 5 I could do without 'Cause I'm lying to them through my teeth About issues and dependencies And I never once say my issue is that I can't sleep Or I'm depending on one day taking on my dreams 'Cause I know, I know, I know That it wouldn't change a thing Oh when I first moved to London I thought the streets would learn my name But seven years have gone now And they've been forgetting it more each day And though I'm good and settled now These new regrets I could do without 'Cause I'm lying looking up and I still can't see The stars or any sign of immortality And I've always wanted the same damn thing I was 5 years old when I said hey dad, I wanna sing But I spent my twenties sat behind a desk 'Cause I thought that was sensible I thought that was for the best And maybe I'm past it now I don't know, I don't know, I don't know But I'm going to find out
2.
It's been a crazy kind of week for me Ever since you brought back my things Thank you for driving all the way out here It really helped to not have to see where you live Where we lived I think you got all the stuff that I missed My perfume and my books and some old shopping list Stuffed inside a few plastic bags Eighteen months of good life reduced to that But you still have my leather jacket And it's the only nice thing I own Maybe you could bring it back And I'll try not to be home Well I sold my car so I'm on a homeward train Staring at photos of someone else's face And my best friend keeps asking me He won't shut up about All the people I could I could meet now There will be someone and she won't be like you In many ways, she'll be better And I'll make sure that you would think so too If you ever If you ever met her
3.
merch edit navigation bar Praying For Rain by Katie MF Share / Embed Wishlist Edit Delete Bulk Edit 00:00 / 02:54 Digital Track Streaming + Download Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Buy Digital Track £0.89 GBP or more Send as Gift about The first single from Everything Trouble Meant, written in the heartbreaking heatwave of 2018. lyrics I find myself praying for rain And I never pray for anything But this city could get washed away And I think I'd be OK with it 'cause I'm coming to terms with some uncomfortable truths About what really happened between me and you And I want you to take all the blame for it 'cause I don't want to have to change anything I just need a break From this relentless summer haze There's no air, there's no space Just this endless fucking ache I always thought that I would be OK If I could just keep everyone a distance away But it turns out I need to be loved To love in turn and to really give it up Yea, hold my heart out and show willing To feel everything that I thought would kill me In seven years' time I will prove you right Look the old me right in the eye And say Remember how you prayed for rain When what you really wanted was anything That was worthy of some faith To leave you humbled and trembling I'm not sure I'll get that from anyone else I've always been so proud to rely on myself So won't you show me now That to love is to be let down Then to be raised higher, higher in hope Than you could ever possibly achieve on your own Yea won't you show me now Won't you show me how Won't you show me now Won't you show me how
4.
When it was over, I took all the things that we loved And hid them away in a box marked Do Not Touch Left them there, forever to gather dust Then you called And I went through it all And I hadn't been able to listen to The National for months Because of everything that Trouble meant to me once But now the tears come and I'm breaking down Somwhere on a backstreet in Kentish Town And it's raining, well of course it is I look up And think, come on man This is punishment enough Oh darling I know I said hearts always get better That these things land right side up if you'd only let them But now I'm not so sure Lost my confidence in it all Will we ever get there? I miss you, and I'm alone, and I'm scared Can we pick up our pens and get to writing again Because that last chapter, it came to an untimely end With two dimensional protagonists Darling you know we're better than this So let's prove it now, let's show That we're not going to falter With redemption so close So is this it, are you coming home? Is it me that you want? You're no good on your own I know that you know that And they know it too Have faith in the people who look out for you But if you agree If it's me And not just some person you wish I could be Well come and get me then I'm waiting Darling I know I said hearts always get better Well mine is starting to heal And I'm inclined to let it but I need you to be sure More confident than before Then I think we'll get there But for now - I miss you, and I'm alone, and I'm scared
5.
It feels a little different this time Like you've actually gone You missed my birthday And you've stopped listening to my songs All my friends say this is a good thing It's high time I moved on But I can't shake the feeling That you'll always have been the one Thank you for bringing my jacket back I really do appreciate that It was the last time I saw you at Waterloo I refused to look back But I heard you stayed for a little while With tears drying on your face Though I'm not sure it helped to know You just watched me walk away But anyway Just tell me Are you eating babe? Are you sleeping OK? I hope whoever's with you now Is keeping you safe Not just looking good and laughing at your jokes You know if you ever want to You could come home Yea you could come home I played a show last night Just down the road from where you live So I wandered around patiently waiting For fate to do its thing But I didn't see you outside the tube And I didn't see you on the street And I did not see you at the back of the room Trying to sneak in But I did see your company's name On the train on the way in It was splashed all over the protective wrap Round a brand new office building And I felt a little surge of pride That you, you were once mine Then I had to convince the lady opposite me That even though I was crying Thank you But honestly, I'm fine

credits

released May 10, 2019

Produced by Nick Harris of Spare Room Recording
Mastered by Tim Debney of Fluid Mastering
Recorded at Cowshed Studios, London

All songs written by Katie MF

Guitars & vocals by Katie MF
Bass by Ben Payne
Drums by Tobias Alexander
Synth by Nick Harris
Cello by Maya McCourt

Cover art photo and drawing by Gerry Alexis

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Katie MF London, UK

Contagious punch-the-air folk-punk, FFO Frank Turner, Grace Petrie, Dave Hause, Against Me!.

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